The best adult jokes contest 2009 through cellphone texts/smses in U.S.A.:
Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
Mom asked "How do you know dear?"
Girl replied "Last night, when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."
Immigrant Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
Boss: "When I am sick, I have sex with my wife. Try it!"
2 hours later…
Immigrant Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."
After sex, a newly wed wife kept fondling her husband' s cock.
Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."
Two sperms talking on mobile phone.
1st: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close-by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."
A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary: "If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress. Bra. Panties. Everything."
Women' s lives are hard. Morning, wash clothes. Noon, hang clothes. Evening, keep clothes. Nite, iron clothes. Midnight, take off clothes. After midnight, find clothes.
Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis.
This is because it can be lifted up even by just a simple thought.
Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one."
Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"
Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
"Anyone got a cock?" All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?" All nuns rose.
Have a nice day !!!!