再来点笑话

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老友给了我数则笑话，笑到我碌地！


来来来！大家来碌地！



The best adult jokes contest 2009 through cellphone texts/smses in U.S.A.:


1)
Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
Mom asked "How do you know dear?"
Girl replied "Last night, when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."


2)
Immigrant Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
Boss: "When I am sick, I have sex with my wife. Try it!"
2 hours later…
Immigrant Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."


3)
After sex, a newly wed wife kept fondling her husband' s cock.
Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."


4)
Two sperms talking on mobile phone.
1st: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close-by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."


5)
A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary: "If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress. Bra. Panties. Everything."


6)
Women' s lives are hard. Morning, wash clothes. Noon, hang clothes. Evening, keep clothes. Nite, iron clothes. Midnight, take off clothes. After midnight, find clothes.


7)
Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis.
This is because it can be lifted up even by just a simple thought.


8)
Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one."
Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"


9)
Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
"Anyone got a cock?" All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?" All nuns rose.



哇哈哈哈~~~~ !!!



Have a nice day !!!!









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来点笑话

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最近极懒，提不起劲。

看了些笑话，倒是很想跟网友分享分享：



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版本一：

某检察官夫妇在蚊帐里睡觉。里面有两只蚊子，一只喝饱了肚子，另一只空着肚子。他妻子的叫他打蚊子，他果然身手不凡，一下就打死了那只吸饱血的蚊子，却对那只瘦瘦的蚊子迟迟不下手。妻子问他：“你为什么不打死另一只？”他说：

“证据不足。”



版本二：

某反贪局高官夫妇在蚊帐里睡觉。里面有两只蚊子，一只喝饱了肚子，另一只空着肚子。他妻子的叫他打蚊子，他果然身手不凡，一下就打死了那只瘦瘦的蚊子，却对那只吸饱血的蚊子迟迟不下手。妻子问他：“你为什么不打死另一只？”他说：

“敢敢吸血的，一定有后台。不能捉！！！”



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某报章有此豈有此理报导：

好消息：一辆满载反贪局高官的大巴士，今天遭遇了翻车事故，汽车全毁。车内乘客，除司机外，无一幸免。

坏消息：车上还有三个空座。









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